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Downer

So the title should tell you this post is a downer, but like life, things can't be happy all the time. We have struggled so much the past few days with the child who has OCD. So much fighting and contention. It has made me sick. I have held it together very well and then this morning I finally cracked. I didn't yell, but I know I made matters worse. I just didn't know what to do anymore. That child left to school in tears and another one left mad at me for how I handled the situation. Wow, 2 out of 4....that's bad. I keep telling myself I am only human, but I feel so guilty. I am not sure now to act or be. And then when I find something that works, after time I get so frustrated that one day I blow it. I keep getting back on the horse, but it seems like a vicious cycle. What to do, what to do?

Comments

Dione said…
You give yourself a break and know that you're not alone!
February 3, 2009 at 9:02 AM
Glenda said…
We'll talk later, but...take the advice of a wise old doctor who said, "Don't allow yourself to be brought into the situation." In other words, walk away, don't respond, don't try to reason or solve the problem...it is impossible...just don't get involved.
February 3, 2009 at 9:30 AM
Circe said…
I try to focus on how I'm making the child feel rather than how angry/frustrated/powerless the child is making ME feel. If I can show the kid some love, it's a victory. If the situation goes the other way, there is always forgiveness. God knows you are doing your best! Thanks for letting the rest of us know we're normal!
February 3, 2009 at 11:18 AM
The Brown Family said…
Laurel, I love that you gave yourself credit for keeping control at all- before you lost it (and your losing it didn't involve yelling).

I have a daughter with some sensory issues that can make mornings, or other times of day, a nightmare! I don't blog about it because she would be mortified that anyone may think she is less than perfect :) We have come a long way with some coping stragies for her but now the menstral cycle has started messing that up, too...

Give yourself a hug and then your child after school. 6 hours will have passed by then. Thanks for sharing with me. It is empowering to know that I have a friend out there who really understands.

Kim
February 3, 2009 at 12:03 PM
Lisa~~ said…
I wish that I had some words of wisdom for you but unfortunately... My one piece of advice is don't beat yourself up and I'm sure if/when the situation arises again you'll have a better perspective on how to handle it. Hugs to you.
February 3, 2009 at 12:22 PM
RamblingMother said…
like you said, you are not perfect. Just get back up and ride. So sorry you have had a rough morning.
February 3, 2009 at 12:45 PM
Anonymous said…
Everyone of us has been in a situation like that, you are just more open and honest about it. Then we spend hours or days trying to work through the pain or loss of control. You're a great mom doing your level best, which is incredibly well! We love you and your OCD child (who may also be doing their level best). Please send that one our love as well.
February 3, 2009 at 2:48 PM
Valorie said…
Laurel, I'm sorry for your hard day. I think you are amazing, and it is honestly comforting to find other mom's who struggle. I think we all hold ourselves to this high standard, and then feel down when it doesn't always go as we think it should. Hang in there.
February 3, 2009 at 8:42 PM
Glenda said…
Another thought...from a worn out old mother...when I was a Sunbeam teacher eons ago I always carried a "surprise" in a brown paper bag to be brought out when I was close to losing the attention of 10 little people. I would bring out, whatever it was (a noise maker, a whistle, a hat, a pair of glasses, etc. etc.) and do something with it to break up whatever it was that was negative. The distraction worked every time. Perhaps, you could carry with you, or stash in a couple of good hiding places, such a "surprise" item, preferably something that makes you both laugh. Then the tension is broken and you might be able to move on. Of course, your child is older than a Sunbeam, but maybe the concept will still work. IDEA: funny mask, or fake spider or something really gross!
February 3, 2009 at 9:34 PM
Erin said…
Oh Laurel... I am sorry that your familymust endure this trial. I will say a prayer for you.
February 5, 2009 at 11:38 AM
M3 said…
Sending huge hugs. None of us are perfect -- not even close. And I screw up so often that I'm starting to think that blowing it is a major part of this mom gig and maybe just no one talks about that part?
February 5, 2009 at 10:11 PM
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