I posted this blog. Then took it down. I guess I am putting it back up now. Please know the below post is not based on fact. It is just my opinion. I hope everyone who reads it sees that it was written with complete love and kindness.
Mental illness is a subject that many people find taboo. This is very understandable since it is something you can't really see or completely understand. It is something that doesn't show up in blood tests, it isn't limited to people over 50, it isn't limited to a certain sex and there is no way to prevent it. People have really been embarrassed about it. No one likes to talk about it or admit they, or someone in their family have it. I realize in the past few years mental illness has come to the fore front more and more. This is such a blessing. It has really helped that many famous people have come out to speak about their lives with mental illness. I think it has put a name and a face to this mysterious illness.
Mental illness is very near and dear to my heart. I believe that mental illness has many different faces. It is never clear cut. Some people suffer from it because it is inherited, some because of a tragic loss or sudden change in their lives or simply because of the time of year. Mental illness looks different on different people. Some people suffer with depression, some with anxiety, some with obsessive compulsive behavior, some with nervous tics, some with hyperactivity and low attention span, some with bi-polar, and others with schizophrenia. The fact is even though it comes in different forms, you probably (more likely than not) know someone who suffers from mental illness. Maybe it is you.
I come from a family with strong lines of mental illness. Ours centers around ADHD, OCD (obsessive compulsive) and anxiety. I know I have OCD. I just had slight tendencies until I was 21, then the full blown OCD hit. It was awful. It was the darkest year of my life. Finally, after seeing many different doctors, one diagnosed me and got me on some medication. I took it for about a year and then went off it. I have been fine since...just those slight tendencies are back. For example, when I get stressed I HAVE TO clean my grout with a toothbrush. It makes me feel like things will be okay. It gives me some form of control. I have been med free until February when my son Austin started to go downhill. Lots of things happened and I hit this big wall of ANXIETY. So, after realizing that I was in trouble I visited my family doctor. He was well informed. In fact he said he treats more people for some sort of mental illness than just regular medical issues. He started me on a low dose of anxiety meds. It has really helped me. I am back to the "normal" person I was before February. I am not sure how long I will stay on it. We will see.
The reason why I even bring this up is I have a lot of friends and several close relatives that struggle with some sort of mental illness. Many of them are embarrassed and ashamed to get help, or admit they have a problem and many feel they are weak if they have to have the help of medication. I guess I am writing this post for two reasons: 1 - I hope one of them will see that it is okay. 2- As a parent to a person with mental illness, we have had a bad few days around here lately, and I needed to let a few feelings out. Anyway, I am proud that I have OCD. Just like I want my son to never be embarrassed that he was born with a heart problem. I want him to embrace it. I want all those who I love, to see that I have a very normal, productive life and that mental illness is just like any other health condition. Really what is the difference between a heart problem, arthritis, or a mental illness? My life isn't controlled by my OCD. I control it. I realize I have been lucky and have been able to lick it several times. Some never overcome it. But the point is, they live with it and they try everyday.
One of my children struggles and I mean struggles with 3 different forms of mental illness. They are on various medications. They see a counselor regularly. They work hard. They have been dealt a harder hand than I. They battle it every day. We haven't found a solution like I did. I am so proud of them every day for just going to school and for trying. Sometimes I get angry with them because it is so frustrating. I have yelled and cried at them. Not the behavior I want, but it is normal...at least I hope. I am sure every parent has taken all they can take and then exploded. I chalk it up to that we (my child and I) are both learning. Today, I am reinforcing these positive things because I feel guilty that I didn't deal with our issues very well this morning and I am trying to make myself feel better. I keep hoping that tomorrow will be better.
Our favorite show at our house is Monk. Have any of you seen it? Monk lives with extreme OCD. I just laugh because it is nice to see someone else live like our house does with our child. Sometimes, however, I cry over it.
To anyone who suffers, know that there is help. Be proud of who you are and of what you do with your difficulties. And most of all hang in there! To those who are caregivers I believe it is okay to get frustrated and angry sometimes too. I watch my child get that way all the time. Sometimes I deal with it very well and other times...well I don't. If you have gotten help, offer support to those you know who are dealing with it. Make their life better. Show you care. Show them that you understand. Support sometimes is all you can give. Sometimes it is all that is needed. And be sure not to forget about those who are the caregivers. It is a hard job and they need support too.
Mental illness is a subject that many people find taboo. This is very understandable since it is something you can't really see or completely understand. It is something that doesn't show up in blood tests, it isn't limited to people over 50, it isn't limited to a certain sex and there is no way to prevent it. People have really been embarrassed about it. No one likes to talk about it or admit they, or someone in their family have it. I realize in the past few years mental illness has come to the fore front more and more. This is such a blessing. It has really helped that many famous people have come out to speak about their lives with mental illness. I think it has put a name and a face to this mysterious illness.
Mental illness is very near and dear to my heart. I believe that mental illness has many different faces. It is never clear cut. Some people suffer from it because it is inherited, some because of a tragic loss or sudden change in their lives or simply because of the time of year. Mental illness looks different on different people. Some people suffer with depression, some with anxiety, some with obsessive compulsive behavior, some with nervous tics, some with hyperactivity and low attention span, some with bi-polar, and others with schizophrenia. The fact is even though it comes in different forms, you probably (more likely than not) know someone who suffers from mental illness. Maybe it is you.
I come from a family with strong lines of mental illness. Ours centers around ADHD, OCD (obsessive compulsive) and anxiety. I know I have OCD. I just had slight tendencies until I was 21, then the full blown OCD hit. It was awful. It was the darkest year of my life. Finally, after seeing many different doctors, one diagnosed me and got me on some medication. I took it for about a year and then went off it. I have been fine since...just those slight tendencies are back. For example, when I get stressed I HAVE TO clean my grout with a toothbrush. It makes me feel like things will be okay. It gives me some form of control. I have been med free until February when my son Austin started to go downhill. Lots of things happened and I hit this big wall of ANXIETY. So, after realizing that I was in trouble I visited my family doctor. He was well informed. In fact he said he treats more people for some sort of mental illness than just regular medical issues. He started me on a low dose of anxiety meds. It has really helped me. I am back to the "normal" person I was before February. I am not sure how long I will stay on it. We will see.
The reason why I even bring this up is I have a lot of friends and several close relatives that struggle with some sort of mental illness. Many of them are embarrassed and ashamed to get help, or admit they have a problem and many feel they are weak if they have to have the help of medication. I guess I am writing this post for two reasons: 1 - I hope one of them will see that it is okay. 2- As a parent to a person with mental illness, we have had a bad few days around here lately, and I needed to let a few feelings out. Anyway, I am proud that I have OCD. Just like I want my son to never be embarrassed that he was born with a heart problem. I want him to embrace it. I want all those who I love, to see that I have a very normal, productive life and that mental illness is just like any other health condition. Really what is the difference between a heart problem, arthritis, or a mental illness? My life isn't controlled by my OCD. I control it. I realize I have been lucky and have been able to lick it several times. Some never overcome it. But the point is, they live with it and they try everyday.
One of my children struggles and I mean struggles with 3 different forms of mental illness. They are on various medications. They see a counselor regularly. They work hard. They have been dealt a harder hand than I. They battle it every day. We haven't found a solution like I did. I am so proud of them every day for just going to school and for trying. Sometimes I get angry with them because it is so frustrating. I have yelled and cried at them. Not the behavior I want, but it is normal...at least I hope. I am sure every parent has taken all they can take and then exploded. I chalk it up to that we (my child and I) are both learning. Today, I am reinforcing these positive things because I feel guilty that I didn't deal with our issues very well this morning and I am trying to make myself feel better. I keep hoping that tomorrow will be better.
Our favorite show at our house is Monk. Have any of you seen it? Monk lives with extreme OCD. I just laugh because it is nice to see someone else live like our house does with our child. Sometimes, however, I cry over it.
To anyone who suffers, know that there is help. Be proud of who you are and of what you do with your difficulties. And most of all hang in there! To those who are caregivers I believe it is okay to get frustrated and angry sometimes too. I watch my child get that way all the time. Sometimes I deal with it very well and other times...well I don't. If you have gotten help, offer support to those you know who are dealing with it. Make their life better. Show you care. Show them that you understand. Support sometimes is all you can give. Sometimes it is all that is needed. And be sure not to forget about those who are the caregivers. It is a hard job and they need support too.
Comments
This is a couageous post. May your heart reach others who need to hear your words!