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Parenting 101

Has anyone out there ever heard of a class on parenting that actually works on all your children? I have taken the Love and Logic and the 1,2,3 classes and yes they work on some of my kids, some of the time, but is there a program out there that could answer or fix all my problems? Let's look at some of these issues and feel free to offer advice.

First, this week my child (this is the child that has me the most perplexed)said to me the thing a parent hates to hear the most...."I don't like it when people tell me what will happen. I like to see for myself." Ugh! That attitude could open a whole world of terror.

Second, my oldest is dating several girls. He has a favorite, so we have imposed the 2 to 1 rule. He can see one girl only two times in a row and then he has to see another. He is following that fine, but I am still having a conniption when he tells me about the hand holding, the snuggling etc. Puke. I talked to a dear friend yesterday whose 16 year old had his first date Friday. She cried, and cried harder than on his first day of school. I know the feeling. This dating thing is rough.

Third, my daughter tells me there are no cute boys in her class. Great. That means she is checking out boys. Just what I need. She is also always having friend troubles. Girls can be mean at her age. The movie "Mean Girls" we all know is kinda true. How do you help them? Or do you stay out of the way and let them do their own thing? I don't have a clue.

There are momentary moments when parenting is easy and good. I am finding, however, that the older the kids get, the less those moments are. I don't know how I feel about this thinking on your own thing and not needing your mom to make decisions. I think they should still ask what to do on every decision. I can tell you my oldest wouldn't be holding any one's hand if he would call and ask my permission. I would totally say NO!!

Here are some pictures of a momentary good parenting moment. Kens is in a singing class. She was practicing for her upcoming performance. Nini had to get in on the action. I loved how she followed her sister's every detail. I love that they love each other.
 

 

 


Today, I actually heard a couple of my kids say, "I love you" to one or more of their siblings. That was a great moment. Of course it didn't last too long. That same kid called one of their siblings an idiot just moments later. Ugh.
 
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These may seem like small problems, but I am nervous because they are the gateway to trouble. I can just see my "I want to see what will happen on my own" kid, jumping off a bridge to see what will happen, or trying a cigarette to see if they get addicted. I can see the snuggling leading to other stuff. I can see the trauma of no boys asking my daughter out. Yea, that could be lots of fun to deal with. I type that with sarcasm.

The decisions of toys, underwear, potty training, eating food, nap time sure were nice. None of them really had lasting consequences or ramifications. The decisions they make now could change their lives forever. Well, maybe that isn't true. The kid who took until 3 1/2 to potty train is my toughest. Maybe they are linked?

Comments

grandma GiGI said…
It would be great if this parent could tell you what YOU should do about parenting. I can't. I can only say "I'm glad it's over for me" Good luck!
Circe said…
YIKES! It just gets morea nd more complicated, doesn't it? Fortunately, I have your example and others to follow. Keep up the good work!
I know...it's hard for me to listen to neighbors talk about potty training as the 'big' trauma in their lives.

I'm with ya, sista. Dec. 15th can't come fast enough for Hills to start dating and we have some mean girls ruling our elementary school, too.

I've loved the few days with school out!

Kim
M3 said…
Yeesh, these don't seem like small things to me. Mean girls, dating, not being asked to date -- oh man, how on earth do parents handle this stuff?
Glenda said…
So as the parent of 5 grown children I will stay absolutely silent!
Valorie said…
I know what you mean Laurel. Each of my kids is so different and what works with one doesn't work with another. Hang in there. The first time Ry held a girls hand I freaked too!! I have decided that faith and inspiration plays the most important role in parenting. When you bring a baby home from the hospital you have nothing to go on...when you buy a toaster you get directions in 6 languages...where's the logic in that!!
hooli said…
I was curious to see what my mom said...
I might have been that kid that said, "I want to see how it turns out myself" or something more like...
This is my life, let me ruin it.
I turned out all right. Just back off.
Reading this post gave me hives. And not for the reason you might think.
Dione said…
All we want is for our kids to be happy. We are not trying to ruin their lives! I'm in the thick of it myself. Wish me luck!
Lisa~~ said…
And I thought it would get easier as Maisie grew up but now I see it's not!! Thanks for shattering my dreams... Luckily your children have a great parents and values and those will serve them well and help them through any rough patches.
Anonymous said…
Really insightful blog entry. I don't know a single person that hasn't questioned their parenting at some point or many points along the way. You are a great parent! Wishing all the best for you and each child.
Rebecca said…
Laurel, hang in there, the raod is rough, but it will be worth it in the end. Can't wait to see you tonight!

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